The Show Must Go On?

Latin – collusionem “act of colluding,” from colludere, from com- “together” + ludere “to play,” from ludus “game” (see ludicrous).

English – collusion – secret agreement for a fraudulent purpose; connivance; conspiracy. To defraud another of his or her rights.

Esther Rantzen (English journalist and television presented who worked at he BBC from 1965-2006 and founder of the child protection charity, ChildLine) is quoted in the ITV documentary Exposure: Tthe Other Side of Jimmy Savile, “We colluded in this”.

There are now over 200 claims of sexual abuse and pedophilia against Jimmy Savile from women (who were girls) from charities he was the patron, hospitals he volunteered in, while he was at the BBC, in the girl’s home he was a patron – over a period of about 60 years. The man was a predator and if he was alive, the documentary claims he would be arrested.

Let’s start this performance with a play on words from the definitions …

  • Have we been silenced from speaking truth because we are unwittingly being deceived into a secret agreement for a fraudulent purpose?
  • Are we playing a ludicrous game together to defraud another of his or her rights?
  • Is the collusion another level of the numb stupor we are in?
  • Are we blind to the collusion of ignorance and apathy?
  • Are we acting and performing as puppets in some secret agreement?
  • Are we sticking together in the game to not be singled out in truth?

My recent letters to the PM’s were an expression I find natural and effortless. My truth is an expression of our truth and all of humanity – all equally so. So why then did I feel to control the manner and time of their release? When the truth needs telling so desperately, why do we hold back saying it?

Yes, we speakers of truth have been persecuted in the past, but that’s not happening today. The only persecution is to HOLD BACK – oh the irony.

The pain of holding back truth is now greater than silence.

The women speaking publicly about their treatment at the hands of Jimmy Savile are a tiny speck of society who are saying no to collusion in abuse. They were afraid of Savile and have not felt comfortable in coming forward until after his death. Even now, some of the women are still afraid and had their identity changed and voices digitally altered in the interviews.

We continue to accept abuse and allow it every day. These women were colluding in Savile’s ‘celebrity’ and the crumbs of attention they were receiving were enough for them to accept the sexual abuse. I know pedophilia first hand and the impact of keeping silent had a huge impact on how I lived my life. I was promiscuous, and took drugs, alcohol and food to numb myself.

In truth, the abuse continues when we don’t take responsibility for ourselves. In my case, it is an ongoing tender treatment of myself that stops the spiral of self-abuse. In holding back sending the letter because ‘it wasn’t going in the right format’, I was in truth being abusive to myself and humanity. My centralised view of myself had an impact on the whole. Thank God I’ve sent it and stopped the collusion in silence!

But that’s the game! We are so centralised and think that what we do doesn’t affect anyone else. We collude with the game and defraud another of his or her rights. We allow abuse to permeate everything and live a performance, scripted for us to be accepted and liked and not wanting to be singled out.

The show must go on. Really?

We are all invested in the collusion, as Esther Rantzen says, ‘We colluded in this’. We have allowed this lie to perpetuate and we create lies and justifications to keep our tiny world spinning around with little regard for our brothers.

The show needs to be cancelled. No curtain call. No standing ovation. One final bow. Enough.

11 thoughts on “The Show Must Go On?

  1. Hi Sarah,

    No clapping even. It is one of those performances that we as an audience as shocked by the impact of the work we have witnessed, and moved beyond belief. Hopefully stirred to move in a true way – in action against what we have allowed for so long.

    The one line that particular struck a chord with me was “Are we blind to the collusion of ignorance and apathy?” This is one of those issues that transfers from the Jimmy Saville ‘affair’ and into the lives of many, I am sure.

    I am unsure though of your reference to the “recent letters to the PMs”. Would you mind to share specifically?

    How beautiful that you find the strength (despite your reservations) to deliver truth to the world. You are an example of what may be done when one commits to getting on with that we really can affect others with – a truth more powerful than collusion. It takes first one, then two, then many more to build a real world that is really profoundly different to the one we have colluded to create.

    Once again, thank you xo
    Stephanie.

    • Hi Stephanie, I realised that I hadn’t replied to this so my apologies! There are a few Letters to the PM on my blog. Search for Letters in the search engine and you will find them. Love, Sarah

  2. Awesome, and It really hit home we’re running on old scripts and colluding with not speaking up and in that the abuse or as you put it so well the persecution now is the holding back, not speaking a truth when we feel it, when we know that what is there is abuse and isn’t right. Thank you for the loving reminder that we all have a part to play in speaking truth. Inspiring.

  3. Thank-you Sarah. I love your analogy – though the subjects of which you speak are heinous – of “the show”. How hard we can try to keep up the appearance that all is ok, meanwhile knowing it is not ok (or may even be absolutely dire) – our voices numb, silenced, seemingly unable to express. So I applaud your expression, and the call for us all to not only speak up, but listen far more acutely, and not ignore or trivialise issues which are of grave importance for the wellbeing of all.

      • Yes, how much we see, hear and feel – from such a young age.. and have learnt to retreat and withdraw ourselves from, out of fear, protection, and perhaps a gradually eroded sense of the SHOCK we must all have initially felt when we knew with absolute clarity, that what was before/around us, was not love, and was not what humanity can be (when it comes from true love & care for all). I deeply appreciate your voice, Sarah. May it be heard and felt – far and wide…

  4. Thank you Sarah, I have also been pondering on holding back recently, I ask myself a question:
    What would I do if I had nothing to loose? What would i say? What would my choices be?
    As in truth there is nothing to loose but everything to gain.
    with love Ariana Ray, Wales,UK.

  5. Its good to stick up for vulnerable children. But your questions at the end make no sense to me, and sound like someone who is slightly paranoid about the world. You should try and smell the roses and see the beauty not look at the conspiracy all the time.

    • Truth is my modus operandi – not conspiracy. The play on words is a form of expression I use to shake things up and rattle people’s complacency … great that you have read it and felt inspired to respond! And roses are my favourite. With love, Sarah

  6. What an artist you are Sarah – and a theatre director with that too! Your CV must be heaving with amazing qualities.
    You make sense so transparent, even blind men could see.
    As for your modus operandi – it has gone past PhD level – you sure are a master craftswoman – using Truth with precision of a Swiss watch, when deconstructing and then demolishing complacency, conspiracy and contempt!
    The rattling effect can be felt a long, long way and it is bound to keep many individuals squirm!
    Your words cut to the chase like (somebody mentioned the other day) – a hot knife through butter!
    Oh, a little bird landed on my window seal this morning and whispered into my ear that you are looking for a new place to live – apparently a little rose garden 🙂

    Rattle off some more and do keep (at least) this show going 🙂

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